Monsieur Chirac, je suis désolé

And who knew dogs could be clincally depressed?

Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own ‘clinically depressed’ pet dog.

The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog – which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.

The animal, named Sumo, had become increasingly violent over the past years and was prone to making ‘vicious, unprovoked attacks’, Chirac’s wife Bernadette said.

Yikes.

There Are Some Real Crazies Out There

This guy is one of them:

GOODLAND TOWNSHIP, Mich. —  A 40-year-old Lapeer County man beat his girlfriend with a cell phone, bound her with duct tape and held her captive for about nine hours because of text messages from a friend, authorities said.

…

The sheriff’s department said the woman told investigators that her boyfriend bound and beat her with the phone and his fists after reading text messages Sunday afternoon at the home they share in Goodland Township. The 39-year-old woman escaped late Sunday to the police department in nearby Imlay City, about 45 miles north of Detroit.

Top 10 Urban Legends of 2008

I love stuff like this:

6. Jamie Lee Curtis Is a Hermaphrodite
“Dear Guide,” begins one of several inquiries I’ve received on this subject, “I’ve heard from a few places that Jamie Lee Curtis is genetically male. I know it is genetically possible for something like this to happen — Ms. Curtis is the only famous person I’ve ever heard linked to this ‘problem.’ One of my best friends is convinced it’s impossible.” Not impossible, necessarily, but highly unlikely.

The Jamie Lee Curtis one is definitely my favorite, if only because Barack Obama is a Muslim and “Bill Gates is sharing his fortune” aren’t as off the wall.

Amazon to the Rescue

I wish I had seen this before the Holidays began. Amazon.com now has “Frustration-Free Packaging,” which I think is a fantastic idea. From the FAQ:

What’s the difference between Frustration-Free Packaging and traditional packaging?

The Frustration-Free Package (on the left) is recyclable and comes without excess packaging materials such as hard plastic clamshell casings, plastic bindings, and wire ties. It’s designed to be opened without the use of a box cutter or knife and will protect your product just as well as traditional packaging (on the right). Products with Frustration-Free Packaging can frequently be shipped in their own boxes, without an additional shipping box.

Amazon’s FAQ also mentions “wrap rage,” and links to this wikipedia article. I love when corporations have a sense of humor. Bravo Amazon.

The Brick Testament

The Bible in Lego format.

Kottke discusses other unusual Bibles

My favorite:

The Message Remix 2.0 is a version for young people written in “today’s language”. Here’s the first few verses of Genesis:

First this: God created the Heavens and Earth — all you see, all you don’t see. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. God’s Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss.

The Price is Exactly Right

This is amazing:

Of course Drew Carey doesn’t seem to care at all. Initially I thought his choice as host was inspired, now…I’m not so sure.

But as someone who used to watch the Price is Right (especially on sick days), I am actually shocked this happened.

If You Named Your Kid Hitler Don’t Be Mad When People Won’t Make His Cake

At least Adolf Hitler Campbell has an original name?

The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child’s full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance. Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the Greenwich ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article over the weekend on their flare-up over frosting.

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The Campbells’ other two children also have unusual names: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell turns 2 in a few months and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell will be 1 in April.

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because “no one else in the world would have that name.” He sounded surprised by all the controversy the dispute had generated.

I’m not sure if these parents are just idiots or actually racist. My gut initially said the former, but giving your other kid the middle name Aryan Nation suggests the latter. Either way, couldn’t you have just asked for a “Happy Birthday Adolf” cake? Why did you need to include his middle name? I never had my middle name on a cake.